Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Image Of The Lost Soul...

There were a number of carved stone figures placed at intervals along the parapets of the old Cathedral; some of them represented angels, others kings and bishops, and nearly all were in attitudes of pious exaltation and composure. But one figure, low down on the cold north side of the building, had neither crown, mitre, not nimbus, and its face was hard and bitter and downcast; it must be a demon, declared the fat blue pigeons that roosted and sunned themselves all day on the ledges of the parapet; but the old belfry jackdaw, who was an authority on ecclesiastical architecture, said it was a lost soul. And there the matter rested.
One autumn day there fluttered on to the Cathedral roof a slender, sweet-voiced bird that had wandered away from the bare fields and thinning hedgerows in search of a winter roosting-place. It tried to rest its tired feet under the shade of a great angel-wing or to nestle in the sculptured folds of a kingly robe, but the fat pigeons hustled it away from wherever it settled, and the noisy sparrow-folk drove it off the ledges. No respectable bird sang with so much feeling, they cheeped one to another, and the wanderer had to move on.
Only the effigy of the Lost Soul offered a place of refuge. The pigeons did not consider it safe to perch on a projection that leaned so much out of the perpendicular, and was, besides, too much in the shadow. The figure did not cross its hands in the pious attitude of the other graven dignitaries, but its arms were folded as in defiance and their angle made a snug resting-place for the little bird. Every evening it crept trustfully into its corner against the stone breast of the image, and the darkling eyes seemed to keep watch over its slumbers. The lonely bird grew to love its lonely protector, and during the day it would sit from time to time on some rainshoot or other abutment and trill forth its sweetest music in grateful thanks for its nightly shelter. And, it may have been the work of wind and weather, or some other influence, but the wild drawn face seemed gradually to lose some of its hardness and unhappiness. Every day, through the long monotonous hours, the song of his little guest would come up in snatches to the lonely watcher, and at evening, when the vesper-bell was ringing and the great grey bats slid out of their hiding-places in the belfry roof, the brighteyed bird would return, twitter a few sleepy notes, and nestle into the arms that were waiting for him. Those were happy days for the Dark Image. Only the great bell of the Cathedral rang out daily its mocking message, "After joy . . . sorrow."
The folk in the verger's lodge noticed a little brown bird flitting about the Cathedral precincts, and admired its beautiful singing. "But it is a pity," said they, "that all that warbling should be lost and wasted far out of hearing up on the parapet." They were poor, but they understood the principles of political economy. So they caught the bird and put it in a little wicker cage outside the lodge door.

That night the little songster was missing from its accustomed haunt, and the Dark Image knew more than ever the bitterness of loneliness. Perhaps his little friend had been killed by a prowling cat or hurt by a stone. Perhaps . . . perhaps he had flown elsewhere. But when morning came there floated up to him, through the noise and bustle of the Cathedral world, a faint heart-aching message from the prisoner in the wicker cage far below. And every day, at high noon, when the fat pigeons were stupefied into silence after their midday meal and the sparrows were washing themselves in the street-puddles, the song of the little bird came up to the parapets -- a song of hunger and longing and hopelessness, a cry that could never be answered. The pigeons remarked, between mealtimes, that the figure leaned forward more than ever out of the perpendicular.
One day no song came up from the little wicker cage. It was the coldest day of the winter, and the pigeons and sparrows on the Cathedral roof looked anxiously on all sides for the scraps of food which they were dependent on in hard weather. "Have the lodge-folk thrown out anything on to the dust-heap?" inquired one pigeon of another which was peering over the edge of the north parapet. "Only a little dead bird," was the answer.
There was a crackling sound in the night on the Cathedral roof and a noise as of falling masonry. The belfry jackdaw said the frost was affecting the fabric, and as he had experienced many frosts it must have been so. In the morning it was seen that the Figure of the Lost Soul had toppled from its cornice and lay now in a broken mass on the dustheap outside the verger's lodge. "It is just as well," cooed the fat pigeons, after they had peered at the matter for some minutes; "now we shall have a nice angel put up there. Certainly they will put an angel there."
"After joy . . . sorrow," rang out the great bell.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A hiccough....

In the space of a hiccough, time skips. In that unruly interuption to breathing, you are so inwardly focused that the world is missed. You don't see anything, you don't hear much. Just a sharp inhalation that results in a squeak.
You force yourself back to the ants. One hundred and ninety-three, one hundred and ninety-four. You know that you are trying to live within the span of a hiccough, in a prolonged time skip that will protect you from what is happening on the other side of the wall.

Monday, October 17, 2005

A post for Meg...

So this post is for my good friend Meg. I thought that I would provide a place for you to go whenever you need to seek my advice. Just close your eyes and ask a question and then open them and look at the first picture you see. That will give you a clue about what I think about the situation. This will feel the void for awhile until I get home for Christmas.







__________(aww..cute)________________ (don't even think about it)_____________________ (happy for you)___________ (does it look like I care)

for a little giggle..

So since everyone just loved my last picture that I posted on here I thought that I would search for some other funny pics for the enjoyment of all you people. Unfortunetly, they are not as funny as the first but still worth laughing at. If anything, they will give you a little giggle.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The sky is falling...


So the other day I thought that my world was coming crashing down. I have heard that there are earthquakes in Vancouver, but I have never myslef felt one. However, the other day as I was sitting in my living room. I began to feel the ground and walls shake around me. I was going to die!!! That was it, the sky was falling and everything was fading away. However, 2 seconds later, I brought myself back to reality; there must be another explanation. Upon going outside I soon found out that they had chopped down the massive tree outside my house and the huge trucks where slamming into the ground. So no, I have not yet experienced an earthquake but it did make me re-evaluate my life. and Tiffanie....marry me. I can't live without you!!!! Joking! I only added that because I heard that you guys where talking about me at the girls pajama party. tisk tisk. Anyhow, be happy, I am still alive and able to share my life with all of you!!! (that was said with the most humble voice possible)

Friday, October 14, 2005

This may seem really funny to you. but this really did happen to me and it hurt alot!!!!! Although, the more times I watch, the harder it is to control my laughter. Poor, poor lady. Bet she had big time carpet burn from that one.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The day the kilt ran away...


My life is a gaping void, where lonliness resides. The song in my heart has turned mornful and offkey. Where have you gone, kilt? Where have you gone.
Yes yes. It is true. The kilt has gone. Gone away to frolic in the open field among the flowers, cows, and giraffes. Gone away to have a better life than the one that it presently has. I could not give it the love it deserved. I could not give it the attention that it constantly was seeking. So I did the only thing that humanity would demand. LET MY PEOPLE.. I mean KILT GO!!!!
The truth is I just didnt have time for the scottish dancing class anymore so I had to return it so that many other poeple could enjoy using the same kilt that has been on many bare bottoms for generations.
So, it is a sad day 'tis is, but one also filled with the knowledge that someone else will be filling my place, (literally) inside that kilt. And I find comfort in the fact that although it is gone there will always be a piece of me with it. namely my sweat.
So good-bye precious kilt. Dance well for me.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The ingredients of me...

There are many things inside of me. Some which I am proud of some of which I can't get rid of. Whatever they are, they are what makes me me. Some would say that I am a carbon-based sack of mostly water, well others would say that all that water is actually sewage. Others would say that I am mostly snakes, snails, and puppy-dog tails, while some would say that I am not that complex.
So what am I made out of? When I smell myself I mostly smell like cheese (not the blue kind, but rather Gouda) This is becuase I love to eat it. When I rub my face it feels prickly, and when I poke myself my finger has a hard time escaping the rolls. So there you have it. By that definition, I am a big, fat, prickly block of Guoda cheese. Hmm, Hmm, good.
However, for those of us that look deeper than the outside, well that's a whole different story. So, whatever it is that I am made of, it is definetly unique. I have yet to have met one like me, and a "praise be to God" for that.
This has been a random thought brought to you by the wonderful workings of the inner sanctum of Ian's mind.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

One..


One child...
Lost in the sea of deception.
One hope...
Lost becuase nobody will share it.

It all Greek to me...


Δεδομένου ότι έγραψα τον ελληνικό διαγωνισμό μου σήμερα Ι σκέφτηκε ότι θα έγραφα στα ελληνικά για να παρουσιάσω ακριβώς πόσο ξέρω. Ξέρω ότι οι περισσότεροι άνθρωποι δεν θα είναι σε θέση να καταλάβουν αυτό αλλά αυτός είναι εντάξει. Φαίνεται τακτοποιημένο και αυτά είναι όλα αυτά πειράζουν.
Σήμερα είναι μια πολύ ειδική ημέρα για ένα από το becuase φίλων μου είναι η ημέρα που αποφάσισε ήταν χρόνος να κοσμηθεί ο κόσμος με την παρουσία της. Δεν είμαστε τυχεροΐ Έχετε το μεγάλο TIFF ημέρας!

Monday, October 10, 2005

scared past...


On the night of April 16, 1975 we were awakened by the terrible sounds of bombs and guns, close at hand. The explosions were so near that our house shook with each burst. To the mind of a terrified nine-year-old girl, it seemed that the gunfire was aimed directly at me. My parents led us to a shelter underneath the house and there, in total darkness, my mother clutched my sister Chan and me to her body and comforted us with her warmth and love. Although she must have been frightened as we were, her first thought was for the safety of her children. Needless to say none of us slept that night.
Early the next morning, Papa went out to inquire about the circumstances of the battle. We huttled together in one room hoping for the best, but fearing the worst. When he returned, we could tell from the worried expression on his face and the change in his demeanor that the news was foreboding. He told us that the Khmer Rouge was everywhere, marching up and down the highways waving their flags and celebrating their victory at the conquest of the capital city. Although he was clearly concerned for our welfare, my own reaction was to hope that this new development would at least put an end to the warfare and killing. Maybe by now, I thought, Cambodia would once again be at peace and my family could return to our treasured customs. I soon learned that the people I loved the most would begin to experience the worst horrors imaginable. We knew our lives would be changed forever.
What began as a hasty departure from our homes and neighborhood soon became a massed confluence of families in an ever-growing crush of frightened, confused humanity. The forced evacuation of the one million residents of the capital city had begun. This was the beginning of immeasurable pain and suffering for the Cambodian people.
By the end of 1976, I was convinced I would not reach my next birthday. The Khmer Rouge had again shown me how endless their cruelty was. Up to this time, regardless of the hardships I endured, I always found comfort in the fact I would see my mother at the end of the day. I was taken by force away from my mother and assigned to a far away work group. Now my heart was broken and the will to live was gone. Without my mother I was now unable to communicate and could only look into the darkening skies as if searching in my despair for some sort of comfort. As the stars shone with unusual brilliance, the round full moon seemed to offer a sign of warmth and sympathy. I began talking to it as if it was a loved one who was there to comfort me.
The next three years brought with it starvation, sickness and death as my companion. We endured misery which words can never fully describe and a numbness to life itself. I got sicker with each passing day. There was virtually no muscle left on my body at all, just skin and bones. My head was bigger than my trunk even though my body was swollen from starvation. I lost my vision and the use of my legs. I was yellow with hepatitis and was ready to die if it were not for my greatest fear - I would not die without my mother. As I lay motionless I recalled my mother's voice urging me on and not to accept death, for it was this that saved my life. The Khmer Rouge would not kill me.
Peaceful times have gone away
Long gone, so far, so far away
Let me live as I will you
Peaceful times as we once knew
The young, the old, so sad these days
So sad, so scared, are we
I have closed my eyes to run away
Run away to peaceful days
Mother please stay with me
Don't go, please stay close to me
I need you now to help me see
To see the days of peace for me
Help me find those peaceful times
The times we laughed when we were free
No more pain, be at peace.

-Sophal Leng Stagg

This is living..



If it is natural for a man to prefer his own kind, what would make one go the opposite route? What is that mysterious magnet that draws a man to another culture, a whole different way of living? Could it be that never having really lived in his own world, never having been fully alive, he jumps at the chance of a fresh start?
Could it be that the exotic is far more vivid and therefore stimulating to the senses, a drug of sorts, one that intensifies the world? For, as much as you have been brought up to dislike your own race, there are others who, incredible as it seems, have fallen in love with it, others who are drawn to "local" life as much as you resent it.
I have always been an outsider. But in the East, when I am moving among the squabbling, spitting, raucous, sun-toasted, earth-toned rabble I feel uncommonly at home. I wake to the scent of jasmine, saffron, cumin, coconut oil, mangoes, wafting up from under my window, the dawn light still breaking and diffuse. How the East can overwhelm a man's senses, how it can seep in, like music, or perfume, like mysterious signals to migrating birds chumming the air, beating out "home, home" across the spread of sky.Drinking tea, listening to people's singing, staring at the open endless jungle, and losing myself in the scents of swirling burning incense and cooking rice; I think to myself, this is living.